Salient..~

As I stay stronger than before, I've tried..
But why they keep me down, always..?

As I stay firmer than before, I've tried..
But why they keep me frust, always..?

As I stay to be the leader, I've tried..
But why they chose to be subordinates solely, always..?

As I stay to be the subordinate, I've tried..
But why they chose me to be their leader, all the time..?

As I stay to facilitate, I've tried..
But why I was the one to act, always..?

As I stay to ease, I've tried..
But why they're becoming lazier and took advantage on me, always..?

As I stay to be the one to make a decision, I've tried..
But why they're just follow without questioning, always..?

As I stay to prepare and asked them to prepare, I've tried..
But why in the end I'm the only one to prepare those, always..?

Please...
Don't do this to me..
As a stranger, I don't ask more than just an acknowledgement..
As a friend, I don't ask more than just a friendship..
As a good friend, I don't ask more than just a trust..
As a subordinate, I don't ask more than just a team..
As a leader, I don't ask more than just a promising teamwork..
As a girl, I don't ask more than just being understanding..
As a woman, I don't ask more than just a respect..
As a person, I don't ask more than just a time and chance..
As a servant of Him, I don't ask more than just being humble and moderate..

Please...
Don't do this to me..
I'm not an angel..
I do sometimes angry, moody, frust etc..
I just need some space, some time, some thing,
someone to calm me..

Please...
I admit that I'm far too 'sick' right now..
Emotional distress..What else you guys wanna know?
Incongruency in achieving my goals..What else you guys wanna know?
Health problem..What else you guys wanna know?
I'm sick...
Please stop these sicknesses...

But you guys didn't listen to me..
You guys failed to read my face expression..
You guys failed to listen to my voice..
You guys failed to see my weak body..
You guys failed to get into me..
I never knew that there are lots of people who have no empathy at all..
It's kinda weird things..
To see you guys smiling with no feeling of guilty..
To see you guys joking with no feeling of experiencing..
To see you guys saying with no feeling of acting..
To see you guys relaxing while we've lots to do..
To see you guys ignoring instead of helping..
To see you guys taking things easy without being serious..
To see you guys wasting time rather than thinking for a solution..

Why?

At this moment, I realized that I'm not a perfect person to judge..
You guys can do whatever you want..
But I will always keep believing that Allah is with me..

"Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were." -- Cherie Carter-Scott, "If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules"

~ "Orang yang paling kuat ialah orang yang dapat mengawal kemarahannya." [Hadis Rasulullah s.a.w]. Dari Abu Hurairah r.a., beliau berkata bahawa seorang lelaki berjumpa Nabi s.a.w dan berkata, "Berilah wasiat kepada aku". Sahut Nabi s.a.w: "Janganlah engkau marah". Kemudian ia mengulangi pertanyaan itu beberapa kali. Sabda baginda: "Janganlah engkau marah". [Riwayat al-Bukhari]. "...Dan hendaklah mereka memaafkan dan meredakan. Tidakkah kamu suka sekiranya Allah mengampuni dosa kamu, sedangkan Allah Maha Pengampun Lagi Penyayang." (An-Nur: 22)

"...Say: "All things are from God."...Whatever good (O man!) happens to you, is from God; but whatever evil happens to you, is from your (own) soul,..." (An-Nisa': 78-79)

"If they believe and lead a righteous life, the reward from God is far better, if they only knew." (Al-Baqarah: 103)

"And whosoever fears Allah [and keeps his duty to Him], He will make a way out for him [from every difficulty]. And He will provide him from [sources] he never could imagine..." (At-Talaq: 2-3). ~ The wise man seeks to benefit from wise opinions; he never despairs or gives up thinking and trying. ~

p/s: Please change..If you guys choose to be like this till the end, you're not gonna survive in the real world next..