Wednesday, December 29, 2010
1) "This is the Book; in it is guidance sure, without doubt, to those who fear God;..." [Al-Baqarah: 2]
2) Sunan Tirmidhi, Volume 6, Chapter 31, Hadith No. 3786:
Jabir bin Abdullah said: "I saw the Messenger of Allah during his Hajj, on the Day of Arafah (on his last pilgramage). He was upon his camel Al-Qaswa, giving a Khutbah, so he said: O People! Indeed, I have left among you, that which if you hold fast to it, you shall not go astray: The Book of Allah (Quran) and my Family, the People of my House (Ahlul-Bait).
I remembered a person said this:
"People or humans love to take shortcuts. For example, deviant teaching. They taught their believers how to do things in the most easiest way. ((i guess you can imagine any)). But, about life, they don't want 'shortcut', they want 'longcut', meaning that they want to enjoy their life to the fullest ((this is his joke))."
- The point is that "people love to take shortcut; think less, being dependent, jump into conclusion so soon, and opt for easiness rather hardship".
Let say, a problem (no matter small one or big one) occurs in which you have to confront it...
What do we mean by 'shortcut' is that, these are what most people do, whether they realize it or not..
(a) Think less
- You think that the problem is so serious over others; fail to identify your problem.
- You start to tell @ share with others about it.
- On the spot, you ask for others' opinion; what to do, how to solve it, why is it so complicated.
- Usually, you want a definite answer from others; neglecting their opinions.
- You're not satisfied if their feedback may seemed slightly different from yours; you yourself actually don't know what exactly you want to do.
- Blame others for not helping you make decision.
(b) Being dependent onto others
- Once you know people attend to you, you start looking for them whenever you've problem.
- As usual, you tell them your problems, ask their opinion where in fact, you're looking for answers that can satisfy yourself.
- Whenever confusion happens, you'll go for the same persons again, and again, asking them the same thing, over and over again "what should I do?", "what do you think?", "she is bla..bla..bla....he is bla...bla...bla...i really wanted to bla..bla..bla...but, bla...bla...bla..." and so on.
- You want people to give answers for you in everything; "with whom I should be friends with?", "should we be friends or just stop being friends?", "should I forgive him/ her?", "should I go and talk to him/ her?", "should I.....?"...hurm..
(c) Jump into conclusion
- "Who wanna be friends with me..? I'm (like this and this.......) and they're (like this and this......)"
- "They will surely don't like me"
- "Of course he/she will avoid me"
- "Perhaps he/she never care about me"
- "They don't think this is important like I do"
- "Maybe he/she doesn't feel the same way"
- "I don't want to think about it anymore, I think it will end this way, and I hope he/she will understand"
- See? The blame is everywhere..
(d) Opt for easiness
- Instead of identifying the problem, you look for others in advance (to tell them about your problem).
- Instead of thinking, you ask for their feedback.
- Instead of being independent, you rely on their answers.
- Instead of considering others' opinions, feelings and time spent, you're acting selfish.
- Instead of being shameful, you're being shameless.
- Instead of respect others and appreciate them, you just come whenever you need them and leave whenever you don't need them.
- Instead of doing sacrifice, you keep asking the same questions over and over again.
- Instead of learning to cope with your problems, you keep looking for answers in advance.
- Instead of being mature, you're acting and thinking childish.
- Instead of being patient, you keep complaining this and that.
Did you know?
Not many of your friends can stand by your side if you're acting this way. Perhaps the last few will just leave soon, who knows. And not many can say "I'm sorry I can't help you anymore, but I can suggest you to refer/ to go back to the Qur'an and Sunnah, so that you won't get confuse anymore".
And please understand this. When they say this way, they really want to help you (but they have no strength regarding subjective (unseen/ uncertain) matters) and that's the final and the best option left. If the day after, it happened that you ask them "what should I do?" again, that's THE END.
Why? Because we're human like you. They're human. I'm human. We're not God to answer all those things that we don't know.
So, please....Refer to our Islamic teaching; through the Qur'an and Sunnah. It's not us to decide for you, but you yourself decide best. Islam teaches us about istikharah if confusion(s) is/are still with us. Have faith in Him...insyaAllah...May Allah makes everything's easy for us..May we find the best cure in it..-ameen-
~ allahualam ~
p/s: A reminder for myself as well...