It's not that beautiful..~ Astaghfirullahal 'azim ~

Unexpected..
Maybe that's the precise one..
Rencana Allah, tak siapa mampu halang..
Yes..Thank you, thank you, thank you..
But deep inside, it's not that beautiful..
This is just temporary..
Why didn't I just realize it?

I'm grateful..
All thanks to You, Ya Rabb..
But this hurts me..
Something inside hurt so bad..
No intent to hurt and get hurt..
But that's the only..out of honesty..
- astaghfirullahal 'azim -

This hurts me..
As who I am..
As what am I actually looking for..
As why I am here..
Taste these things..
Although the bitter overrides the sweet, I'm grateful..
Nisa, my lovely naqibah, mungkin betul bila dia kata, "Ini mungkin satu cara Allah nak tarbiyyah kita.."..
I can't deny it..
- astaghfirullahal 'azim -

I do really need that patience..
So much..
I pray may Allah grants me that only precious thing..
Which can save me..
From any misbehave or mislead..
Along my way to my wishful ending..
- ameen -

~ thinking and wondering, let the floor clear, let me be alone ~