When tears never stop falling down... ~

They don't understand..Please forgive them..
They don't know how much I keep this for a long time..Please forgive them..
They don't search the reason..Please forgive them..
They don't ask for knowing..Please frogive them..
They don't.....

How am I going to live like this..?

My stories..My tears..My heart..My dreams..My everything....they don't know what I've gone through all this while..Like I said, nothing's easy for me..

Silence does not mean give up..Rather than it means respect..Silence means give others an opportunity to get what they supposed to get from others - attention, support, care, everything they wish for...I don't ask for it as others need more than I do..

Fragile..When everything becomes a joke..cynical words overlapping..What's worth of having a story that nobody wants to hear it? What's worth of crying? What's worth of having shoulders that share nothing alike?

A glance..That white dress..I bought for me..with a hope that no burden on anybody for my day someday..Still, joke...-down- I wash it, and it is still white...Even whiter than before..

And, this makes me believe that my tears today is for my happiness tomorrow..

~ insyaAllah ~

p/s: I've to do something before it's too late..Seek the sacrific'er'..

~ A Plan...for future..~

Hope it is not too late nor too early..



University of Melbourne, Australia..4 options related to my current course..

1) Executive Master of Arts
2) Master of Arts (Professional and Applied Ethics)
3) Master of Development Studies
4) Master of Educational Psychology

Any..~ insyaAllah ~

Hmm...



~ Beruntung wanita-wanita yang dilamar dengan mas kahwin pakej Umrah dan Haji.. ~

Tapi tak apalah..Kalau ada rezeki untuk aku, bersyukur...Kalau tak ada, terima seadanya..Kadang-kadang sekecil-kecil pemberian itulah yang paling ikhlas dari pihak pemberi.. :) ~ Alhamdulillah ~

~ Replaced? ~

It's not that easy..But I'm glad that I can make it.. :) So many times I thought that I'm not gonna make it..But as time passes, I begin to know myself better..

I sat in front of the mirror..almost all the time..I see myself smiling at me..I see myself crying, oohhh that's the ugliest one I've ever seen..-hissss, burok bt0l-

I think I'm strong, but I'm not actually..I think I'm smart, but I'm not actually..I think I'm kind enough, but I'm not actually..hmmm...I think I'm right, but it is otherwise..-duh-

Being alone is not my choice..Sometimes it ends up that way..Am I too fragile? I don't think so..He had left me..Long time ago..And I've experienced everything..-alamak, riak lah pulak..~astaghfirullahal 'azim~

Hmm..I think my friend is right.."What matters to me?" and he answered "Nothing"..True to certain extent..hmm..No comment..And now I'm asking myself.."What matters to me?"..-think-

So far so good..I can replace everything with what it supposed to be..Put everything in the right place..Just ignore the negative ones, and proceed with own inclination..What I think best, usually the best (for me..others, allahualam..)..But if it ends up astray...(just try my best not to complain)..-zip-

Most important, I can breathe again..Pain? Just a bit, insyaAllah, everything will be okay..Sorrow? Just a bit, insyaAllah, He will never let me down..Loneliness? Just a bit, insyaAllah, someday he will come..Dreams? Just lately I don't understand some..InsyaAllah, I believe there will be hikmah and there are answers for all..

If I can say thanks, firstly it would be towards Allah the Almighty..Secondly, it would be towards my parents and siblings..Thirdly, it would be towards you..Others would be next..

Hmm..No more.. :) Let it began with happiness, let it be always in happiness..End? -tak fikir lagi- But just be ready..

~ Hidden...

"God is the Protector of those who have faith: from the depths of darkness He will lead them forth into light. Of those who reject faith the patrons are the evil ones: from light they will lead them forth into the depth of darkness. They will be Companions of the Fire, to dwell therein (forever)." (Surah al-Baqarah: 257)

Allah Wali (Memimpin) orang-orang yang beriman, dikeluarkanNya dari gelap gelita ke dalam nur (terang). Orang-orang kafir itu, wali-walinya ialah taghut, dikeluarkanNya mereka dari nur ke dalam gelap. Merekalah penghuni neraka, serta kekal di dalamnya.

"Alif Laam Ra. A Book which We have revealed unto thee, in order that thou mightest lead mankind out of the depths of darkness into light - by the leave of their Lord - to the way of (Him) the Exalted in Power, Worthy of all praise!-" (Surah Ibrahim: 1)

Alif Laam Ra. (Inilah) kitab, Kami turunkan kepada engkau supaya engkau keluarkan manusia dari gelap gelita kepada terang benderang dengan izin Tuhan mereka. (Iaitu) ke jalan Yang Maha Perkasa dan Maha Terpuji.

I slept with sorrow..Still feel scared of that dream..Crying...- mix -

I met him..with white dress..Before I leave, I take the hand and kiss on it with a lafaz of 'Allahumma solli 'ala Sayyidina Muhammad...' and he answered 'Allah...'..When I woke up, I feel calm..(again)
- Thank you, Allah.. -

~ Masakan aku tak menagih cintaNya....kalau itulah yang sebenar-benarnya Dia berikan untukku...~

~ Maybe...

Shocked... T_T
A friend has gone forever..
Allayarham Tengku Muhammad Onn Tengku Adnan..

I remember..First time knowing him..He likes to smile..And always smile..PEERS sets up everything..At matric..He was so busy..Whenever we got meeting, he was unable to join..Kak Za selalu kata "Onn ni malam ni dia 'off' plak"..Many...sweet memories...

But now he's already gone..Kak Za..Onn betul2 'off'...Allah bagi dia rehat...Sampai masa kita nanti..

I remembered..I got a dream last night till I feel so afraid to sleep again (anymore)..There were many high buildings..Different types..I was in an education institution one..Suddenly from a very high place like that, I saw a big bah (banjir) with chocalatey clay..It wrapped up everything..I saw the buildings going down bit by bit..I saw innocent people in there who are helpless..I heard their scream..

I feel so scared..I wanna cry..I went to call my family..They're all safe..I tried my best to get away from there as soon as possible..How selfish I am..I'm so scared..But soon I reach to the not so called bottom (half way), the water still there..It won't go down..I'm scared again....I'm alone...I cried...

- get up -
0530..So scared..I sent him a message 'get up'..I can't sleep after that...Just take a look at ma'thurat..

~ then calm ~

Maybe that's a sign...Or warning...Or....losing somebody I know...I don't know..All I know is I feel so scared...Never remember a dream, not even once...this time, I do..

~ Reminding myself….

I should remind myself..For not being too much..For not saying too much..For not acting too much..

Seriously, honestly I hate behaving this way..Because I drag an innocent person into this..which I shouldn't do it..

Now, I want you to just be moderate in your life..Appreciate everything; people, memories, etc..Most important, promise is a promise..You want to care, do it..But don't too much..As long as you don't take him to a 'bad' path..Remember! Never challenge Adam..If you yourself are weak..

Ya Allah...

I'm a bad girl..If my presence brings 'harm', please protect the innocent ones....

Adapun...~

Adapun ciri-ciri orang mukmin itu 5..

...Apabila disebut atau diingat Alah s.w.t - gementar hatinya kerana takut kebesaran Allah dan seksanya....

...Apabila dibacakan ayat-ayat Al-Quran - bertambah imannya. (melalui pengertian dan pemahaman, sebab itu kita digalakkan belajar bahasa Arab)....

...Mereka tawakkal (menyerah diri) kepada Allah dan berusaha/ berikhtiar dengan segala daya upaya (bukan tawakkal tanpa usaha da amal)....

...Mereka mendirikan solat - dengan cukup rukun, syarat serta khusyuk dalam hatinya, iaitu dengan memerhatikan dan menghayati erti bacaan yang dibaca dalam solat....

...Menafkahkan sebahagian hartanya seperti zakat dan sedekah untuk amal sosial dan sebagainya....

(Surah Al-Anfaal: 2-3)

Merekalah orang-orang mukmin yang sebenarnya..

Check list:

1) Checked: Yes/ No?

2) Checked: Yes/ No?

3) Checked: Yes/ No?

4) Checked: Yes/ No?

5) Checked: Yes/ No?

.........ehm....

~ Ya Allah..Guide me..-ameen- ~

Will be done...~

"Carilah kekuatan dalam dirimu kerana hidup ini hanya sekali & buatlah apa saja yang kamu mahu untuk memenangi cintaNya dulu.." - simple but difficult, huu..

"If any do seek for glory and power, - to God belong all glory and power. To Him mount up (all) Words of Purity: It is He Who exalts each Deed of Righteousness. Those that lay Plots of Evil, - for them is a Penalty terrible; and the plotting of such will be void (of result)." (Surah Al-Faathir: 10)

Barangsiapa yang menghendaki kekuatan, maka bagi Allah kekuatan itu semuanya (diberikanNya kepada siapa yang dikehendakiNya). KepadaNya naik perkataan yang baik dan amalan yang saleh, yang ditinggikanNya (dibalas). Orang-orang yang menipu dengan (tipuan) yang jahat, maka untuk mereka seksa yang keras, sedang tipuan mereka akan binasa (gagal).

Further........

.......Barangsiapa hendak memperolehi kebesaran (kekuatan, kekuasaan) di dunia atau di akhirat, hendaklah meminta kepada Allah s.w.t, kerana semua kebesaran itu bagi Allah s.w.t semuanya. Untuk mendapat kebesaran daripada Allah s.w.t, ialah dengan perkataan yang baik (menyebut) Laailaha illallah, nasihat yang baik, pelajaran yang diberikan kepada anak-anak dan murid-murid dan sebagainya, serta amal soleh. Keduanya itu disampaikan kepada Allah s.w.t, lalu diterimaNya. Adapun semata-mata perkataan yang baik saja (iman saja) dengan tidak disertai amal soleh, maka tidaklah diterima Allah s.w.t.

Bersabda Nabi s.a.w.: "Allah tidak menerima perkataan melainkan dengan amalan dan tidak menerima perkataan dan amalan, melainkan dengan niat yang ikhlas dan tidak menerima perkataan, amalan dan niat, melainkan ianya sesuai dengan sunah (perbuatan Nabi, perkataan dan ketetapan Baginda)" ...........
(Prof. Dr. Haji. Mahmud Yunus, Tafsir Resm Uthmaani)

My personal interpretation (can be right, can be wrong)..We asked strength..
For what? To face any difficulty in life..
By using what medium? Zikr Laailaha illallah..
For what? To strengthen our iman..
Is it enough? No, not yet..
We have to give good advise (help others), share @ deliver any benficial info to others, and do good..
How to do good?
Towards self, perform what has been obliged by Allah; solat etc. (intra-relationship)..
Towards others, do good to parents etc. (inter-relationship)..

Ehm..PROVIDED that all of these are done in the name of Allah s.w.t..so that everything will be blessed (from the beginning to the end)..
~ insyaAllah ~


Maybe I can relate this with another..

"Not your desires, nor those of the People of the Book (can prevail):..." (Surah An-Nisaa': 123)

Bukanlah semata-mata angan-angan kamu sahaja dan bukan pula semata-mata angan-angan ahli Kitab. ...

...........Kamu wahai kaum Muslimin, tidak berfaedah semata-mata angan-angan kamu dengan mangatakan kamu Muslim, Islam sebaik-baik agama, Al-Quran semulia-mulia kitab, Nabi Muhammad s.a.w stinggi-tinggi nabi dan lain-lain. Tidak berfaedah bermegah-megah, hanya yang berfaedah ialah ilmu dan amal soleh kerana barangsiapa yang berbuat kejahatan nescaya akan dibalas setimpal dengan kejahatannya itu.

Riwayat daripada Hasan 'Tiadalah iman itu amalan'. Begitu juga tidak berfaedah angan-angan ahli kitab (Yahudi dan Nasrani), kerana agama-agama itu bukanlah disyariatkan untuk bermegah-megah dan semata-mata bertopeng dengan agama, melainkan disyariatkan untuk beramal dan membuat kebaikan. ........
(Prof. Dr. Hj. Mahmud Yunus, tafsir Resm Uthmaani)

I've done the zikrullah..But lately I don't understand myself..Why am I so lazy? I want to be someone better..Everything is so heavy..-duh- Then I wonder if Allah wants to test me..I always think that there must be reasons why I felt this way..-weird- Suddenly stopped here..

Ehm..Now I realized that any dream (change) should be followed by Laailaha illallah (strength from inside)..Then it should be followed by deeds (what I should do and shouldn't do)..Make it consistent..Never forget to address "In The Name of Allah...." -everything is for Him as if I'm going to meet Him tomorrow-

I can't just sit and wonder and think and sleep..But have to get some 'fresh air'..

:)

What a beautiful path He showed me..'Innamal a'malu binniyah'..

~ will be done, insyaAllah.. ~

Flower...~

Flower...You're so beautiful..I mean it..Even a celestial maiden would look so pale without you..She puts you high..On her curly hair near to her right ear..If you smell so pleasant..no doubt that she would probably pluck you and yours to make her just own crown..And she would be so proud because you made her become prettier..

Flower...Only a truly flower may compete you completely..Not because of the bright or bloom or striking color you have..But because of the delay to tilt..Let see how long you can survive..

Flower...How Allah loves you much..until He wrote about you in Al-Hijr: 22, as a reference in regard to flora science..

"And We send the fecundating winds, then cause the rain to descend from the sky, therewith providing you with water (in abundance), though ye are not the guardians of its stores."

Dan Kami meniup angin untuk mengahwinkan (tumbuh-tumbuhan, atau pembawa awan), lalu Kami turunkan air dari langit dan Kami memberi kamu minum dengannya dan bukanlah kamu yang menyimpannya.

.......Di dalam sekuntum bunga, ada beberapa tangkai sari bunga yang sangat halus seperti benang. Di hujungnya ada kotak yang berisi tepung sari bunga yang halus. Selain dari itu, ada juga setangkai sari yang agak kasar dari yang lain. Ia tidak mempunyai kotak tepung, melainkan di hujungnya seperti tapak bulat yang bergetah. Apabila kupu-kupu, kumbang atau lebah datang ke bunga itu hendak mengambil madu yang manis dari dalamnya, lalu ia hinggap, sedang kakinya merayap ke sana sini, sehingga terbuka kotak tepung sari itu, lalu melekat tepung itu di bulu-bulu pada kakinya.

Kemudian ia terbang dan hinggap ke bunga yang lain. Di situ pun, kakinya merayap juga, sehingga ia terpijak tapak bulat yang bergetah itu, lalu melekat di situ beberapa butir di antara tepung sari itu. Maka, di situlah butir yang amat halus itu segera hidup menerbitkan tunas, lalu ia tumbuh melalui tangkai sari itu, mengejar kepada salah satu benih (biji) di pangkal bunga itu. Setiap benih yang dimasuki tunas tepung sari itu, hidup menjadi biji. Kemudian bertambah besar, akhirnya masak. Biji buah yang masak itu, jika diletakkan di tanah yang subur, ia menjadi tumbuh-tumbuhan yang baru (anak) yang sebangsa dengannya. Begitulah caranya percambahan (perkahwinan) jantan dan betina tumbuhan, sehingga ia menghasilkan anak.

Flower...What a beautiful story..At least, I know that you're not going to get extinct..Because Allah has planned the best for you..

Flower...Maybe people out there can buy you with money but you've to know that you still have your own price..The price that nobody could replace you with..You're the one who colors the earth paradise..You're the one who shows that you're also a living being..You're the one who proves your uniqueness..You're the one who always share the genuine aroma so that people can benefit relaxation..And, many..

Flower...You've brighten the day..May I say that you represent good Muslimah in this world?

:)

~ Seindah-indah hiasan dunia adalah wanita-wanita solehah ~

Secretly admire.... :P

I found something on the bookshelve..
It sounds interesting..

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

Ehm..Bila boleh baca ni..?
Curi2 amik..
Nak bawak balik UIA esok..

:)

I guess abah will not be getting angry..

~ Kak pinjam jap ya, abah.. ~

Allow me...

I'm not the beauty who deserves to be approached..
Not the beast who deserves to be isolated..
I'm just an ordinary humble simple person
who wants to approach and be approached..


~ Allow me.. ~

~ Plain.... ~

(shidare-zakura)

:)

Masa berlalu, aku belajar banyak benda..Ada yang terkena dengan kisah hidup, ada yang tak..Tapi boleh kata semuanya ada sangkut paut sikit2..Ingatkan aku sorang je yang alami semua ni tapi taklah, ramai je yang senasib..

Usrah, 7th January 2010, OR Censerve, 8.00 - 9.30pm

I'm belonged to group 3..My naqibah is sister Nisa'..Others are the two Ain(s), Lily, and Huz..Ta'aruf session began with what Hassan al-Banna had always emphasized in maintaining ukhuwah among members..From the story of our beloved Prophet Muhammad s.a.w..He was alone..Single..But then he had Bilal..Then he had these four famous sahabah; Abu Bakr, Umar, Ali, and Uthman..From here, he holds them, taking care of them, keeping them with him always..See..from a single and one person, our Prophet managed to make it became bigger and bigger from time to time..Just because of ukhuwah..

What should a person have to strengthen the ukhuwah?

The lowest standard = ikhlas (the lowest? Very hard to do, but just considered as the lowest?)

The highest standard = itsar (a kinda sacrifice when somebody ignore his/her feelings just for others' benefit)

There was a story..
Redha should be applied..
How firm are we when we say we're redha with what happened?

Redha..
Let him/her go..
At the same time..
Pray the best for him/her..
Never dislike him/her..
So that one day
When we meet him/her..
We will just smile..
And thought that "Oh, my old fren..."..

Redha..
When we've to accept that s/he is a friend given by Him..
Doesn't mean we love
then s/he turns to be our spouse..
Don't love somebody except s/he is our husband/wife..

"...Dlu ms kat sek0lah, ustzh kte penah ckp, prmpuan yg c0uple ni ibarat curang dgn future husband die..ye la..time c0uple, prmpuan biase bg everythng pd c0uple die..i mean ksih syg la..s0 klu sume bnd die da bg, ape je la yg tnggal tuk husband die nnt.." (29 Oct 2009/14:29)
- Thanks to dear friend, Nur Syatilla..-

Redha..
Think of ourselves
in the first place..
Don't hate..
Or else we might get hurt so bad..

"On no soul doth God place a burden greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, it suffers every ill that it earns. (Pray:) "Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error; our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which Thou didst lay on those before us; Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. Thou art our Protector; help us against those who stand against Faith."
(Surah Al-Baqarah: 286)

Allah tidak membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya. Ia mendapat pahala (dari kebajikan) yang diusahankannya dan ia mendapat seksa (dari kejahatan) yang dikerjakannya. (Mereka berdoa): "Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau hukum kami jika kami lupa atau kami tersalah. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau bebankan kepada kami beban yang berat sebagaimana Engkau bebankan kepada orang-orang yang sebelum kami, yang apa yang tak sanggup kami memikulnya. Beri maaflah kami; ampunilah kami; rahmatilah kami. Engkau penolong kami, maka tolonglah kami terhadap kaum yang kafir.

Redha..
Be positive..
Maintain the relationship..
Don't take past
as an obstacle..
To taste the brotherhood we have..

Redha..
Open our heart
for someone out there
who is waiting..

The truth is that..
Whenever we experience love and failure,
That love and that failure brings us
to Him..

:)

Ta'aruf taught me a lot..
Want to know the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w better..
Meaningless if I say I love
but actually I don't know him..

- Tak kenal maka tak cinta -


~ walk away with smile, think how to be ikhlas ~

A Man's Pray...

"And those who pray, "Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, give us (the grace) to lead the righteous."
(Surah Al-Furqan: 74)

Dan orang-orang yang berkata: Ya Tuhan kami, berilah kami isteri-isteri dan anak-anak yang menggirangkan hati kami, dan jadikanlah kami imam (ikutan) bagi orang-orang yang bertakwa.

Although this pray is encouraged to be asked by men, I'm still thinking about myself..Am I good enough to be the one with qurrata a'yun? Am I good enough to be a good wife soon? Am I good enough to be a good mother in the future?

For the time being, am I good enough to deserve the best one? Can he accept me as who I am?

'A woman's heart should be so lost in God, that a man needs to find Him in order to find her' - Thank you to Afiqah Tajuddin (Fyqa)..

~ allahualam ~

Mind Setting..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim....

[1] - O thou wrapped up (in the mantle)!

[2] - Arise and deliver thy warning!

[3] - And thy Lord do thou magnify!

[4] - And thy garments keep free from stain!

[5] - And all abomination shun!

[6] - Nor expect, in giving, any increase (for thyself)!

[7] - But, for thy Lord's (Cause), be patient and constant!

(Surah Al-Muddaththir: 1-7)


"Wahai orang yang berselimut (Muhammad), Bangunlah, lalu berilah peringatan (kaummu)! Dan Tuhanmu besarkanlah! Dan pakaianmu bersihkanlah! Dan berhala (kejahatan) tinggalkanlah, Dan janganlah engkau memberikan (sesuatu), kerana hendak meminta lebih banyak (daripadanya). Dan untuk (mengikut perintah) Tuhanmu bersabarlah"

~ Starts from me..Observe myself first.. ~

I'm Muslim..

"O ye who believe! Bow down, prostrate yourselves, and adore your Lord; and do good; that ye may prosper."
(Surah Al-Hajj: 77)

Wahai orang-orang beriman, rukuklah, sujudlah dan sembahlah Tuhanmu, dan buatlah kebajikan, mudah-mudahan kamu mendapat kemenangan.

Asking question..
Can I be a real good Muslim?

~ insyaAllah ~

Never too late... :)

Never too late to start new.. :)
It doesn't mean
New year brings new things..

New year to me..
Is to give new breath..
To unfinished
To unaccomplished
To unsatisfied
To incomplete
To all 'un-', 'in-', 'im-', and 'non-' things..

New life begins..
When I passed each..

To make something beautiful..
Is hard..
But I can't keep saying it's difficult..
Just let it be in mouth..
But heart says otherwise..
Of course mind has to be strong enough..
My 'aql..
Towards my God..

Be thankful to problems..
To all problematics..
Without you..
How can I be strong?
How can I say this is me?

Be thankful to time..
To experiences..
To pasts and presents..
Without you..
I don't know how to 'approach'..
Dealing with such and such situation..

Be thankful to roomies,
To buddies..
To bystanders..
To strangers..
Without you..
I might stand at the corner, just watching..

All and all...
This is never too late for me..
To say "I'm here"..
Looking at you..
Approaching you..
Be together with you..

To say "I'm here"..
Fixing myself..
Just for my own sake as well as others..
Sharing..
Revising..

I need all strength..
To make all these dreams come true..

It's never too late..
Before I close my eyes
forever..

~ I am the one to start ~

Step by step..

Taking steps forward..
Step by step..
Step that will go no astray
anymore..
Hope so.. :)

Everything comes from heart first..
Before others' judges..
Sometimes inclination lead to right..
As long as I'm holding on Him..

Unique..
I'm unique..
You're unique..
Everybody is unique!
Absolutely, yup! :)

Let's go on..
Shadow, stay with me..
Don't let me disconnect from you..
Make sure we're in touch..
Orait?
I promise I'll lead you
to the Best..

-ameen-

~ Always in a process of learning.. ~

Relieved...

When you have a problem..
Never hesitate to seek
time and space..

I love to think..
But mostly towards something that I should not think of..
'tak tercapai dek akal'..
Simply say, think too much..
Followed by unnecessary emotions and feelings..

I realized it..
I seek my mum and dad..
Who knows me better..
since I was small..

I seek my best friends..
Who knows me better..
since past years..

I do want to stay away from this..
But one question..
Blocked my intention..
"Why do I do this?"
In fact, I don't have a concrete and fix answer..

Silence..
Not a solution..
I took 1 week +..
be alone..
think back what have been said by them..
And said to myself..
"My mistake......" (exhale)

I've make myself looked like a murderer..
I've make others victims..
I killed my heart..
I killed my relationships..
I killed my joy..
Allah...
What a dark side of me.. T_T

At the same time..
I tried my best to seek something from Him..

Alhamdulillah...
He guides me..
Put an intention to go for TOT (training of trainers)..
Put an intention to open up this Divine Book..
Suddenly I opened this verse..

From Surah al-Muddathir: 1-7..

Relieved..
Now I can smile back..
After cried so much..
I've been cruel to myself
all this while..
Again, my mistake...

Realized..

I'm lucky to have such nice parents and good buddies in my life..
To accept me as who I am..
To say sorry..
I don't know how..
But I do have something for them..
A 'present'..
And I'll do give them, always..

~ Know myself and role, as 'abid and khalifah.. ~